Regrets

Regrets, we all have them...regretting the friends we have lost, regretting the mistakes that we have done in the past even regretting that stupid night that you get so wasted that you cant even remember how you got there. The downside to regrets is that no matter what they come back ten times harder and as worse as the original regret. It feels to me that regrets are used as blackmail to get a personal gain. I'm no saint but I feel that through it all many people that I know use the mistakes in my past as a way of me regretting the actions I have caused. Even after the damage of the deed, even after the apologies, so many years have past since that one event that changes everything, it still haunts you. Every time you see that one person that you have "hurt" they always ALWAYS mention the scene that you did or how badly you hurt them. Regrets, they are a BITCH I mean even after all the guilt that you felt originally, you still feel it! You feel like that it will never get better that the bridge has been burned. The doubts and insecurities that regrets bring to the table does wonders to the psyche.

Regrets, we all have them....its like our personal inner demon. No matter what you do to try to fix it....it never heals its like a damn wound that just wont heal no matter how times you but on a band aid it just never heals. I could probably write an entire novel on the many regrets in my life and how they always screw me over. But then again I bet we can find tons of people who can the novellas and playwrights of how regrets have screwed them over. Regrets.... even saying the word makes its sound nauseous. Regrets, they always say that you become the person that you are today from the success and yes even regrets that you make. It somehow shapes you, it changes you to think in a different perspective. To me the regrets still to this day, haunt me. Emotionally the tear me down, and mentally its hard to bear. Regrets are like that shot when you were a little kid that you tried to avoid....however, no matter how much you screamed and tried to break loose, you always got the damn shot.

So as I and many look on what is next, I always look at the regrets of my past as my inner demon. Every time I look in the mirror, I don't see me, I see all the people that i have hurt and think why cant this stop, I don't know how to make this pain stop. Cant time just rewind its self so I can change all the regrets, all the mistakes, all the misfortunes? Cant for once I just be happy and not pretend that I truly am happy? Until then I guess the wounds will continue to bleed out and I will move forward with the haunting of the regrets of my past.

Regrets...ha ha aren't they a bitch.